The Noble Horace
An interplanetary Brobdingnagian-Rousseauian fable

A thousand bright stars lit up the sky. With each second the stars grew brighter and more present. They were not a uniform color: Horace could see red, yellow, purple, white, amber – he counted the colours eagerly.

The stars seemed to move across the sky. Horace was sure they were murmuring. He was not a curious creature and never wondered why this was happening. He was content to simply enjoy the spectacle.

Several years ago an extremely large probe – the size of a multistorey earth building – had landed on Horace’s planet. For a long time it remained untouched until Horace stumbled upon it during one of his solitary perambulations. The screen on the probe lit up and began to ask questions. Each used a simple pictogram format, but the interface was too small for Horace to handle with any delicacy. Not that this mattered; he had no idea what any of it meant.

The ‘stars’ that now lit up the sky were in fact spaceships. Horace’s answers to the probe had given the impression of intelligent life on the planet, and so an invasion was initiated.

When the ships entered the planet’s atmosphere they saw no evidence of towns or agriculture or any inhabitation. However, as they circled the planet they came across a lone bipodal figure. He was as tall as a skyscraper and had a ridiculous, innocent smile. He seemed to be waving at them.

It was Horace. He was thrilled to welcome his little guests. Once they had disembarked their ships, he took great care not to tread on them and to expel his vocal noises (we do not know whether he spoke a language) in a soft, caressing tone, but which felt to the aliens like a mighty gust.

The invading force tried to anesthetize Horace, shooting him with thousands of needles. But this only served to send Horace into a fit of giggles. Having failed to conquer by force, the commander of the fleet, Lupegoggicol the Goiteneidarious, reluctantly tried diplomacy. First, he tried speaking through various means of amplification. When that failed, he projected an enormous holographic image of himself and tried to communicate gesturally. But his theatrical movements were meaningless to Horace, who began imitating the commander as if he were being taught some form of dance.

After several days touring the planet, the aliens concluded that Horace was the only intelligent creature present. As far as Horace could remember he had always been the only inhabitant. There were large sea creatures with whom he would sometimes play, as well as some smaller land animals who usually hid from him. But there was only one Horace. Indeed, Horace was fascinated to observe others who, except for their being less than one-eightieth his size, were so like himself.

The aliens soon left. They reasoned that it would be futile to bring civilization to a planet of only one person. And so Horace again stood there, with his happy, ridiculous smile, waving the aliens goodbye.